Toxic Masculinity is the latest catch all complaint against traditional culture. Men share a lot of similarities with America as a country. The USA was referred to as the sleeping giant around WWII, we had proven in WWI that our military might surpassed that of the Europeans combined, and yet, unlike nearly every superpower in history, we willingly relinquished all of our conquered land. For we did not cross that cold Atlantic pond to conquer, but to liberate.
America and men share a history of providing women and the world with safety for little to no reward. America has had a military capable of conquering and dominating most of the earth for over 100 years. Yet instead of dominating we protected, and allowed the world to gain more freedoms than ever. The world’s oceans were patrolled for free, men of America gave their lives and dollars to liberate the world. And so to did we liberate our women.
Male state legislators, voted in exclusively by men, gave women the right to vote by the year 1920, over 100 years ago. Before then women were under the authority and protection of men. This created a new potentially unstable balance that was new to history. Men are physically stronger than women, and thus are required to fight off other men. So throughout history when men attacked a woman’s home she needed a father or husband to fight and die if necessary. The traditional balance was that the father betrothed his daughter to someone. He tried to choose someone of honor and capability who would take his place as the primary protector and caregiver. And thus to secure a marriage and start a new family a young man had to prove his worth to another man and not a woman. His worth was shown by his character, his actions, his wealth, and even his family’s name and reputation. These were measurable things, and thus asking for a woman’s hand was a logical argument, not an emotional one. In colonial America arranged marriages remained common for about 150 years. Today we have the total opposite, dating is emotional by nature, to secure a wife you must first compete in the strange new usually digital world of dating. The main place to secure just the chance of a new relationship is Tinder, bumble, and other online dating/hookup platforms. You are judged not by your character, stability, nor ability to support a family, but by your looks in a quick dopamine crazed swiping marathon. Women get nearly unlimited matches on dating platforms and can get more than 1 match for every 3 swipes, vs over 30 for men.
This is really the crux of the rise of Toxic Masculinity. A bitterness born toward women from most men’s inability to get dates, and especially the difficulty in forming long term relationships in this new dating landscape. Factored in is the difficulty in connecting with women in other areas of life as most workplaces have classified asking out a female coworker as sexual harassment, and your usually considered creepy if you try to start a conversation unsolicited with a woman at other public places like grocery stores.
Overall 80% of women have sex with 20% of the men. There is a biological component to this, but apps like instagram promote guys who are good looking, wealthy, and tall. Women are attracted to top tier men, and most women can sleep with these top tier men because they are having sex with so many ‘partners’. Women are obviously tolerating this system as the statistics show. This phenomenon will appear in some degree in any system where women can choose partners freely. Pologamy is rare in modern devoutly Christian and Jewish societies. This created a balanced stable society where there was roughly 1 available woman for every man. Divorce was exceedingly rare and there was a father around to raise proper moral and emotionally stable boys.
However based on DNA analysis it’s proven that we have twice as many female ancestors as male, meaning that about 80% of women have statistically reproduced vs approx 40% of men. Yet we tried to create a society where monogamy is required for both partners in a marriage. Historically polygamy has been allowed for men but not for women. Cheating by men usually leads to divorce in a society with easy divorce laws. The result today is that about half of parents are divorced before a child turns 18. This isn’t anyone’s intention going into a marriage but the results are terrible. Our society must be fundamentally broken if a marriage’s success comes down to the flip of a coin.
So how does this all tie together? We covered that men are stronger and willingly gave women rights that made them their equals in the eyes of the law. We covered that dating apps are broken for men, and that dating in general is broken for men. So what are these men to do? They have two options, they can fall into the incel camp, claim victimhood and blame women for everything. Probably thinking less of women and believing they don’t deserve the full rights of men, or the other option. This option is the hustlers attitude made famous by Andrew Tate. Go to the gym, get strong, get rich, and get any woman you want. Yet some of the incels remember the rational truth the hustlers attitude can’t work for everyone. If all the incels go the hustler route then the bar will just be pushed higher, having some money and muscles won’t be enough. The top 20% of men will keep getting 80% of women. This view certainly seems to hold weight, we have no evidence that with free choice of women in today’s socioeconomic conditions they will stop their current dating practices of nearly exclusively seeking top tier men.
The peak biological urge for women to start families occurs in their late teens to late 20’s. Our society however is setup for women to be in school and college until about 22-23, assuming only bachelors, and discovering their new career until mid to late 20’s or even mid 30’s. We’ve created a society where culture tells women this is a bad time to have children, that they need to experience life first and live a little, not ‘give up their life’ and jump straight into motherhood. Men are a little more complicated as they remain fertile throughout most of their lives. On average though men achieved financial stability in their late 20’s to early 30’s, and look to start a family. Today many women with careers don’t consider having children until their late 30’s and up, after they start to feel that career alone lacks true meaning. This is an obvious paradox, when many women want to have kids they’re past their peak fertility and men in their age range instinctively know this, and seek younger women to start families with.
We haven’t even touched on the dire economic conditions yet, but just these previous factors alone have plunged birth rates into a dangerous territory. Birth rates are not a trivial socioeconomic factor to argue over, they are the literal lifeblood of a culture or race. With fewer births the population withers away over generations. At the extreme end countries like South Korea as set to genocide themselves within 100 years.
Toxic Masculinity may be an attack on men, but the culture the term seeks to push has been brutal for women as well see. The lucky few men who get laid a lot, the ‘chads’ are usually miserable on the inside and churning through women to try to cope. Also even when a chad wants to start a family he can have trouble, because most the women he dates aren’t ready to settle down. Women are commonly hung up on that one special chad who she thought she almost was able to keep and marry, when in reality she never stood a chance. These abysmally high body counts are not good for women either. About half the women on the left have been diagnosed with a mental health condition in their life, suicide attempts among women are at all time highs. This system isn’t working for anyone. Anecdotal evidence shows that for every relationship a girl goes through she becomes slightly more bitter and crazy until like the incels she starts to hate the opposite gender as well. You can see evidence of this in sayings like ‘all men are the same’, ‘guys just want you for sex’, ‘there’s no good men’ and ‘men have easy lives’. In reality these are all wrong and let’s break them down a little.
All men are the same, no just all the men women give a chance are the same. Women usually only give more confident, cute douchebags a chance. Women compete for the top 20% and won’t respond to the nice DM’s from someone who is ‘not her type’. There is a plethora of nice usually quieter lonely guys who will give all their attention and loyalty to a woman they desire. But even that is a problem, chads can tell you that women don’t say what they want. Women don’t want a guy who will swoon over her with unearned unwavering attention, they want men’s attention who they have to earn. After all, things you get for free have little value to you. Women don’t want a boring network technician earning a steady 63k a year, they’d rather not know what their man earns and keep up a fantasy that he has access to more money than he does. Women don’t want meeker nice guys, they want cute jerks.
Guys just want to have sex, well again that’s the women’s fault. There are plenty of guys not trying to fuck on the first date, but they’re not getting any dates. Men who can get a lot of matches on tinder, which is extremely rare, use Tinder for hookups so they can have sex with girls they have no desire to date long term. Women are eager to DTR, define the relationship, which is short for taking the man off the market. The girl thinks look what a catch I am, we can hookup but if you want to keep fucking me you need to be my boyfriend and at least pretend to never cheat. I need to be able to show you off to my friends and or family and gain social status by showing off the man I have loyalty from. The chads know they have plenty of options and are not eager to be locked in a long term relationship. The Chad knows he didn’t have to work that hard to get sex from you, and thus your sex doesn’t have much value, and thus the woman doesn’t have much value. Men fantasize more about marrying that sweet innocent cute girl and don’t consider his hookups marriage material.
Men don’t have easy lives. This is an entire article on it’s own so it will have to be glossed over. The main crux is we earn the same as women but are expected to pay more often, and if a woman chooses to stay home and be a mother it’s expected that you pull the earnings of two people. Women are better suited for following the strict order of school and are out graduating men. Women get 58% of bachelors degrees compared to 42% for men. With DEI hiring practices straight white men are openly discriminated against and ineligible for promotion in many companies through no fault of their own. Some on the right are predicting that men are close to a breaking point. We live in a less moral time than at any other point in our nation’s history. The incel community is genuinely disparaged but definitely not morally perfect. If things were to destabilize and turn violent these are not the people you would want in control, it is likely that women would have horrible rights and conditions under any society built by incels. Yet the problem is the percentages if 20% of the men are indirectly controlling 80% of the women, how long will the 80% of men put up with near zero chances of passing on their genetics. This isn’t a battle that would be good for society and we need to work together. Both sides of politics and genders need to help build solutions that can form a healthier and happier society.